Not letting you go
by Readerwithanr
Summary: Katniss and Peeta had just started dating when Prim's name is called out for the 74th Hunger Games. When Peeta comes to say goodbye, Katniss can't stand the thought of him watching her dying in the games, so she does the one thing that comes to her mind. She breaks his heart. But what happens when she comes back being a victor? Has Peeta moved on?
1. Summary

_**Summary**_

Katniss and Peeta had just started dating when Prim's name is called out for the 74th Hunger Games. When Peeta comes to say goodbye, Katniss can't stand the thought of him watching her dying in the games, so she does the one thing that comes to her mind. She breaks his heart. But what happens when she comes back being a victor?

 ** _Back story_ : **I got this idea when I was watching the second movie last night. I've always wanted to explore what would've happen if Katniss and Peeta actually talked to each other before the reaping, and especially, what would have happen if Peeta had told her his feelings and were together.

 **Let me now what you think and if you would be interested in reading this**

Review?


	2. Chapter 1

**I**

Katniss had her head in Peeta's lap, he was playing with her hair while listening to the birds' sweet melody. They were in the meadow, each of them in silence enjoying every second they had together, both were thinking the same thing: the next day might change their lives forever. It was this way every year, every teenager in the district being scare to death because of the reaping. Ever since they started dating, two months ago, their meeting point had been these woods, it was where they had their first real conversation, their first kiss, and when Peeta told her his feelings for the first time, hopefully this wouldn't be the place where they were together for the last time. It had been a surprise for everyone in the district when they saw them walking together, hand in hand, on their way to school one day. They hadn't told anyone beforehand, not Gale, nor their families, they were focused on enjoying what they had for as long as they could, especially because it wasn't every day that a guy from the rich part of the district dated someone from The Seam.

"You tired?" asked Peeta when he saw his girlfriend closing her eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about how happy he was since they got together, how the past couple of months have happened so fast for them, but at the same time he had to admit he was scared, scared for what would happen tomorrow, and for himself, but for Katniss. She had her names more times than him, what if she got picked? There was nothing he could do, and even if Katniss was the strongest and most determined girl he knew (he could prove it on how long it took him to get her to trust in him, let alone getting to accept a date), she wasn't as prepared as some boys and girls from other districts.

"Yeah" she said sleepily, "I never want to leave this place".

"We don't have to", he answered, lowering his head so his lips touched her forehead. "We could stay in here forever". They were just joking, he knew that, but it was nice to imagine a different life for both, a life where they didn't have to worry about the reaping, where he didn't have to think about how skinny Katniss felt between his arms.

"You know we can't", Katniss' voice was full of sadness, forgetting how relaxed she was just a few minutes ago. She sat up, so they were face to face now. She looked at his eyes, always amazed at how blue they were, as if she was watching the sky or the lake where she used to go with her father, now regretting that she had never took Peeta there, maybe they could go next weekend. _If everything works out_ , a voice said in her head. She lowered her eyes, watching every inch of Peeta's face. Her sister says all the time that ever since she and Peeta started dating she had a different glow, as if she was as happy as she ever had been, which was kind of true, she used to think, because no matter how hard she thought about it, she could never recall a time where she felt as happy as this months with Peeta. The way his touch sent her heart into race, and how every time they kiss a hunger grew inside of her, consuming her senses begging for her to never get away from him. She thought of what to say to him that could make him understand her feelings.

"I know, but that doesn't mean we have to leave yet", Peeta tried to make things easy for her, she could tell that he never wanted to hurt her or put more pressure in her, but right now she didn't want comfort words, she wanted him to hold her, she wanted to cry her heart out because she was scared for the next day, but she knew she couldn't be that vulnerable, not yet, not when he hasn't even said the "L" word to her yet.

She didn't respond, she leaned into him and closed her eyes when their lips connected, it was something she loved, how it felt as if their bodies were meant to be together, their lips just clicked perfectly, always moving in sync. She felt the hunger inside of her, starting at her stomach and quickly making its way through her entire body, setting a fire inside her, consuming her. She felt Peeta's unsure hands going up her waist, caressing the sides of her body and timidly putting them at the sides of her breasts. Katniss gasped for air in the middle of the kiss, it was rare when they had the opportunity to kiss like this because most of the time they were worried that someone would caught them being in the woods, not only by the Peacekeepers but by Gale, Katniss' best friend.

At the beginning, when she had just started dating Peeta she couldn't find a way to tell Gale, she never actually talked about her relationship with Peeta with anybody else, so when Peeta offered to be with her when she told her best friend she couldn't help but say yes. So, there they were, in the middle of the woods, Katniss standing uncomfortable with her hand in Peeta's not knowing what to say. In the end, it was Gale who said, "well, are you telling me that you're together or not?", he laughed and it was that easy, he knew, he congratulated them and everything was back to normal between Katniss and him. They still went out every Sunday or every other day to hunt, because they still needed to feed their families and were still the best of friends.

Katniss usually told Gale beforehand which day she was going to the woods with Peeta so he'd stay away from the meadow. It had work out so far, but she still got nervous when they were in the woods… but right now, with her boyfriend's hands on her body, with his lips on her neck she couldn't care any less about anything but him. Katniss run her hands through his back, sliding them in the inside of his shirt, touching his back and slowly making her way to his chest, she could feel his hesitation, as if he wanted to be with her this way or every way possible, but not right now, not when tomorrow they could lose everything.

"Katniss," Peeta breathed out "we can't". Katniss stared at him, she could understand why but that didn't mean she agreed, she wanted to be him no matter what would happen the next day they would always have this. She started to lower her hands to touch him. "Listen to me, sweetheart, I don't want it to be like this, I want to make feel special, I want to love and not because we're scared of tomorrow, but because it would be because you really want me to".

" _I want you to_ ", Katniss thought, but she didn't dare to say it so instead she stood up and helped him do the same. He kissed her forehead once again and said goodbye to her, saying that everything would be okay and that tomorrow night he would be just as happy as they are now, she gave him a small smile and told him to be careful on his way home. She watched him go and when she couldn't see him anymore turned around and headed towards the deep part of the woods. She still needed to hunt and get a few things for her house so her sister could enjoy something nice before tomorrow, her hart squeezed at thought of that, tomorrow it would be her little sister's first reaping. Fortunately, her sister never had to ask for food, so her name would only be once, but still, for the habitants of District 12 the odds were never in their favor.

A few hours later she had two squirrels and a turkey with her. It was a lucky day. So, when she got home she was received with hugs from her sister and her mother, the relationship she had with her mother was improving lately, pretty much thanks to Peeta, her family loved him, especially Prim, they could talk to each other for hours, in fact they had. There was this one time when Peeta walked her home from school, her mother wasn't home because she was helping a kid who was sick, so Prim convinced him to stay over for a few minutes while Katniss made dinner. The "few minutes" turned into hours and he even ended up staying for dinner with them, that's when Katniss realized that Peeta would never judge her and was really into her, he never made a comment about her humble home or the way that they didn't have enough juice for him.

Katniss answered all their questions about her day and her boyfriend, and politely ask the same things to her mother. Later, after dinner, she talked with Prim about her day and what she did in school with her friends, heard her gossiping about a friend's boyfriend and Katniss quickly told her that she was way too young to have a boyfriend, although her little sister just laughed. When they were done talking they went to bed and tried to get some sleep for the next day, but they both knew it would be impossible.

 **K &P&K&P&K&P&** **K &P&K&P&K&P**

The reaping was at two.

Katniss didn't get much sleeping that night, she woke up at least five times with a scream stuck in her throat telling her father to run. Ever since he died in that accident she has nightmares, but she had to admit since she and Peeta got together she has less every night.

The morning passed quickly, she went to hunt with Gale and they promised to have dinner together along with their families, Katniss had talked about it to Peeta as well and even though his relationship with his family wasn't the best, he was still spending that evening with his parents and brothers. After that, Katniss and Gale went to sell their stuff in different places of the district. Each of them went home to get ready.

A while later she was walking with Prim to the Main Square when she heard her name.

"Katniss" it was Peeta, of course "are you okay, sweetheart? You look tired". The concerned look on her boyfriend's eyes made her heart melt.

"Nightmares", it was all she said, but shyly took his hand, it was something they always did when they were in public. They never kissed, but were always holding hands.

"Everything will be okay, you'll see. After this I'm taking you home, okay?" Katniss nodded in response, Peeta looked at the stage and sighed, he put a lock of hair behind her ear, "it's going to start. I'll see you before you realize".

Peeta watched as Katniss walked toward her place, he couldn't help to notice how beautiful she looked in the dress, racing his heart and making his hand sweat. He still did not understand how he managed to get a date to with Katniss Everdeen, let alone be her boyfriend, especially because he had been in love with since they were five years old, and he had assumed that she would end up with Gale. Apparently, Katniss had feelings for him as well and even if they weren't as strong as his, Peeta managed to convince her to go out with him. Sometimes he still couldn't believe how lucky he was for having her, she was the best thing in his life.

Peeta put little attention, if any, onto the video they played every year about the war that happened seventy-four years ago. A sigh of relief escaped from his mouth when Effie Trinket called Thomas Davis, an eighteen-year-old from The Seam, he instantly felt bad, how could he feel relief when a boy was being sent to die? He looked among the crowd for Katniss, and when his eyes met hers he gave her a small smile and a nod of encouragement.

"Primrose Everdeen" the voice of Effie Trinket said.

Peeta could not breathe, he could not move. He was just standing there, staring, without reacting. He saw Katniss screaming and walking towards the stage, he saw Prim holding on to her and Gale taking Prim away, but he couldn't hear anything. He saw as the people did a gesture to Katniss, pointing their three middle fingers to her, as if they were saying goodbye to their hunter. But Peeta… he could not say goodbye to the love of his life.

 **K &P&K&P&K&P&** **K &P&K&P&K&P**

Katniss silently watched Peeta. She was heartbroken for what she knew she had to do, and she had to be strong. She had to break Peeta's heart, she had to destroy every expectation he could have because she knew that was the best thing for Peeta, at least, if he hated her then, maybe, he wouldn't suffer that much when she dies. It was worth the risk, anything that might decrease his pain was worth it.

Katniss followed the Peacekeepers inside the building, they told her to stay in that room where she would meet her family and friends. She wasn't surprised when the first person that came inside was Peeta.

He didn't say anything, he just crossed the room and held her. She got lost in his smell for a minute, it was the las time she could have him with her, but she didn't return the hug. When Peeta realized that he was the only one hugging he took distance to see her. There was something different in her eyes, as if they were hollow, empty, no trace of feelings in them. Peeta tried to get close again to give her a kiss, to feel her, but she walked away. And he knew it was over.

"I don't know why I did this in the first place" Katniss started, her voice flat, she was waiting for Peeta to interrupt her, but he never did so she continued, "I never should've accept that date with you, and no because of you, but because of my motives… I never thought this thing between us would go so far, you know? I thought he would say something sooner, I thought he would be jealous"

Peeta knew who she was talking about, and deep down in his soul he always was concerned that that might've been why she accepted to go out with him, but he was so happy with that he didn't pay attention to that voice inside of him. He couldn't stay in this room, as much as he loved her, he would not allow her to see him in such pain, so he just nodded, turn around and walked away with his heart shattered. He didn't need Katniss to say who was she talking about, he already knew.

Gale.

* * *

 **Thank you so much to the people who told me they would read this story. I am feeling very inspired so here is the first chapter.**

 **How will Peeta behave after this? Who else will visit Katniss? Find out in the next chapter ;) hahaha**

 **Time to answer the reviews:**

 **Guest:** It is and Everlark story and it will be until the end, so don't worry about that :)

 **EmberLex:** thank you! I hope you enjoy this first chapter.

 **HungerGamesFan** : as you could see, Peeta is not the male tribute. But the games in this fic play a very small role, it will only be next chapter (or 2) and then we come back with Katniss as a victor. The idea of this story is focusing on that, how will Katniss win his trust again? what if he doesn't want her back? I hope you enjoy it!

 **Fav/Review?**


	3. Chapter 2

II

Katniss collapsed onto the sofa that was in the little room, her lungs desperate to get some her, but she couldn't get herself to breathe. Her vision was starting to get blurry when she heard the door opening and the quite steps she recognized as Gale's.

"What did you do, Catnip?" his voice said, everything was so quiet that it even made echo in the room. She heard him getting closer to her so she lifted her eyes to face him. His face was full of concerned, and she knew it wasn't just for her but also for Peeta. Peeta, they boy she had started to fall in love with. The boy that would never be hers again.

"You have to be with him," she said with a firm voice. "You have to care of him and my family. Promise me". Her eyes were desperate, silently asking for help, nobody as kind as Peeta deserved what she did to him, but it was the only she would save him some of the pain. Her sister, Prim, deserved better as well, but she had their mother and Gale's family to find some comfort. Peeta was alone.

"I will, Katniss, you know I will".

He finally sat beside her and held her hand. Katniss knew he would take care of Peeta and her family, and she also knew that he understood her decision, because he would've done the same thing in her position. Katniss let her head rest in her best friend's shoulder, not a word spoken between them. They had had that conversation before, about what they would do if the other got reaped, so they didn't have anything else to discuss right now, just enjoy the last minutes they had to be themselves again. The hunter felt her eyes water with tears, but she contained herself, she wouldn't give the Capitol the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

The rest of time passed quickly, and soon Gale was not-so-politely asked to leave by on the Peacekeepers. They hugged one last time, and he gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.

"You're strong, get a bow or make one if there is none. You're a hunter, and you have a good shot of winning this. Come back home, for Prim, for me and for your boyfriend, because you know you love him". Katniss simply nodded and allowed him to go before the Peacekeepers did something to get him out.

Less than a minute later the door opened again, this time revealing Prim and her mother. Katniss quickly started instructing Prim about fuel, and trading, and staying in school, the, she turns to her mother and grips her arm, hard.

"Listen to me. Are you listening to me?" She nods, alarmed by her daughter's intensity. She must know what's coming. "You can't leave again". Her mother's eyes find the floor.

"I know. I won't. I couldn't help what—"

"Well, you have to help it this time. You can't clock out and leave Prim on her own. There's no me now to keep you both alive. It doesn't matter what happens. Whatever you see on the screen. You have to promise me you'll fight through it!"

Katniss' voice rises to a shout at the end of her word. She knew it was because of all the anger and fear she had felt when her mother abandoned them My voice has risen to a shout; her mother gets angry as well and starts talking about her being ill and being able to treat herself if she had the medicine they have now. Katniss knows this is true, but at this point she doesn't even care, and it doesn't matter, not when she's about to go to face her death, they couldn't afford her mother getting sick again, not without her there to take care of Prim.

"I'll be all right, Katniss," says Prim, clasping Katniss' face in her hands. "But you have to take care, too. You're so fast and brave. Maybe you can win." Katniss knew that her sister was fulling herself with fake expectations, she had to know that she would likely get killed in that arena. The kids from the wealthier districts were trained since they were born to be a victor of the Hunger Games.

"Maybe," Katniss says, there was no way she could show any weakness in front of them, not when she had just told their mother she couldn't give up. "Then we'd be rich ad Haymitch".

"I don't care if we're rich. I just want you to come home. You will try, won't you? Really, really try?" asks Prim, her eyes full of tears. "Besides, you still have a lot of things to do in your life, and more people to come home to, not just us but Peeta, and Gale, and Madge, we all love you".

"Really, really try. I swear it," Katniss answers, her heart aching at the sound of her now-ex-boyfriend's name. "But Prim, you must know that there is no way Peeta will be expecting me if I come back, not after what I did".

Prim just rolls her eyes at her, not even bothering to tell her big sister the thing they both knew. Peeta loved Katniss. He would not get over her, and if she came back he would be waiting for her. Or at least, that's what Prim wanted to believe. After all, she had seen how Peeta was when he walked out of the room, as if someone had stripped his heart out of his chest… he looked empty, shattered. And Katniss was the cause of that.

Soon, the Peacekeepers ordered them out, and Katniss found herself alone in the room. She takes a pillow from the couch as if it could block the whole thing out. The door opens again and she's surprised when she sees the baker, Peeta's dad. Katniss can't help herself, she gets up and walks across the room, and in seconds she's hugging Mr. Mellark as if her life depended on that. He quickly wraps his arms around her and hold her there. Every time she went to the bakery, when his wife wasn't there, she would talk to the baker, they got closer every time, and Katniss could almost see his dad when he'd hug Peeta proudly. Right now, she could only think of how much he smelled like Peeta, like cinnamon, Katniss takes a step back and looks up at him.

"I'm so sorry," she says, she can hear her voice cracking but she continues. "You must know I did because is the best thing for him. I just want him to be happy, he deserves so much. He doesn't deserve to suffer watching me die. At least now that he hates he won't suffer as much".

"He doesn't hate you, Katniss," The baker's voice is full of concern. He cares about those two kids so much, he knew his son loved her for a long time, and that she had suffered so much in her childhood. "He could never hate you and you know it. He has loved you since he was five years old, and you honestly think he'll do it know? He knows you weren't thinking straight".

Katniss looks down, the guilt building in her stomach. She can't go back in time, she had made a decision and she has to stick to it, even if it was a bad one. She said goodbye to Mr. Mellark and waited. Her last visitor was Madge, they didn't talk much, they never had, but she gave her a Mockingjay pin, saying that it had been her aunt's and she wanted Katniss to have it. They just sat together, not a word spoken and when the Peacekeeper came in, Madge gave her a hug and left.

She didn't get more visitors after that, and apparently, the other kid was rather popular, because she had to wait for him for around twenty more minutes. She didn't care, every second extra she had in district twelve was better than in the Capitol. Her mind started to go back to every moment she had spent with Peeta in the last months, from their first real conversation, their first meeting in the Meadow, their first kiss… She didn't bother to push those thoughts away, it was impossible. Katniss knew she was falling for him but that was something that she could have never said to him, not when they would face the reaping every year.

 _At least he'll get to be happy_ , she thought, but then she started picturing Peeta with someone else, a blond girl by his side, them getting married and having kids. The thought sent chills trough her spine and her eyes watered. She couldn't let that be. She had gone through so much with him for her to give him up that easily. So, later that day, when she was on the train on her way to the Capitol she had made up her mind.

She would come back. She was going to win, for Peeta. To be with him.

* * *

 **Hello everybody! Happy new year, and here I am with the second chapter, I hope y'all like it :) this one is a bit shorter, but...**

 **The next chapter is going to be told from Peeta's perspective!, how he reacted and also is about his reaction of Katniss' interview and probably the start of the games. Let me know if you're excited!**

 **Thank you to everyone who take the time to write a review! it makes me really happy and excited to keep on writing this story.**

 **thefarmersdaughter:** wait until you see in the next chapter, but you know, when you're sad or angry you make decisions you regret later, but at the end of the day Peeta loves Katniss and he wants her to come back home.

 **karin6824:** thank you, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. And don't worry, this is an everlak story ;)

 **MaddieTheAwesomeUnicorn17:** Thank you sooo much! I hope you like this chapter 33

 **Guardian'sDragonOfDeath:** thank you! I hope you liked this one as wel.

 **Follow/Review? the more reviews I get the happier I am to write :D**


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